Helping Toby
by Doc House
Summary: The ghost of Mrs. Landingham decides to help Toby. Written after Mrs. L's death, but before the election. Also, lots of added material to all chapters, June 2005. Toby fic, CJToby.
1. Helping Toby 1

"Helping Toby"

Written By Melissa (Doc)

**NOTES: I'm going over some of my old stories, fixing them up, and re-posting them. I have added quite a lot more writing into this story, FYI. Enjoy! This is set during Season Four.**

Part 1

The senior staffers were all walking back to their offices, and just about all of them were in shock. They were told that the President had decided not to run for reelection. Then a back-flip happened. At the press conference, he announced that he was going to run. Leo was the only person who thought that he was going to change his mind. The rest of the staff believed that his mind was already made up.

Toby walked into his office and shut the door. He thought about the events that had happened that day: Mrs. Landingham's funeral. Leo giving him, and only him, a life boat. Being told that the President had decided not to run for reelection. And then going to the Press Conference only to hear the President announce his plan to run.

Toby sat in his chair and looked through the glass at all the people running frantically around the Communications Bullpen. He knew that he should be out there working, but he needed somewhere to go for a while to be alone. He was trying to get everything in his head sorted out before he started working on anything.

"What a day," Toby mumbled to himself while resting his head on the back of his chair.

"It's only going to get worse," A familiar voice called out.

Toby lifted his head up slowly with his eyes open wide. He knew that voice, but he knew that it couldn't be her. But sure enough, when he looked at his couch, he saw her. He jumped up quickly and moved to the back of his office.

"Calm down Toby. I'm not going to bite you or anything," Mrs. Landingham smiled.

"But you're...you…." Toby stumbled over his words.

"I'm dead, yes Toby. I know," She informed. "It's okay."

"I don't understand," Toby said, still trying to back further into his office.

"You see Toby. I'm here to help you. Well, to the best of my ability. Out of the whole staff Toby, you have more things going on in that head of yours than anybody else. And right now, Jed is going to need your all. There is no way he will win this thing without you Toby." She explained.

"Well, I was fine. But now I'm seeing dead people, so now I don't know," Toby said mainly to himself, starting to walk closer to his desk, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Toby, do you want my help? Oh heck, even if you don't, I'm not leaving until I do." She declared in her old stubborn way.

"Help me with what?" Toby asked dumbly.

"To put your life in order, Toby. Look at yourself: You're 47. Not married. No girlfriend. No kids. This office is your home. Your work is your life. You are in love with someone that you will never tell. You…."

"Okay! Okay! I get the point!" He stopped her. Moaning loudly, still rubbing his eyes to possibly clear the image of the dead woman he was having a conversation with.

"I'm here to help you." She smiled.

"But why do you want to help me?" He asked, not really caring about the answer. He thought his mind was finally giving out on him.

"Because I like you Toby. Sure, I may never have given you a cookie. But I still care about you," She said with a smile.

Toby walked closer to his couch, where she was sitting. He sat next to her and looked over at her cautiously.

"I'm fine." He proclaimed. He was trying desperately to believe that in his mind.

"You always say that. But you know what?" She gave him a stern look.

"What?"

"I have ways to tell when you're lying. Now, you don't want to lie to the dead, do you?" She said with a smirk, trying not to laugh at Toby's shocked expression.

"No ma'am." Toby answered nervously. He lowered his head and fidgeted with his tie. Something he had always done when he was nervous.

"Good, now you need to get to work." She slapped her hands together.

"What?" Toby looked at her.

"You have a speech to write for the President." She reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Toby looked down again and played with his tie.

"Toby." She rolled her eyes at his childlike manner.

"Yeah?" He mumbled from the corner of his mouth.

"Go reelect President Bartlet." She demanded with a smile.

Toby smiled and looked over at her. "Yes ma'am."

"I'll be here when you get back." She mentioned with a smile.

"You will?" He turned pale again.

"Yes, there are a lot more things ahead for you, Toby. Now go on," Mrs. Landingham got up from the couch with Toby. She smiled as he walked out of his office to go meet the rest of the staff.

For the past four hours, the staff had been in Leo's office discussing the plan for launching the reelection campaign. They knew that it was going to be tough, but they were all up for the challenge.

"Okay, it's two in the morning," Leo stated after consulting his watch. "Why don't we continue with this later in the morning?" Leo offered as he sat up and stretched. He noticed everyone was exhausted, almost falling asleep at the table. "We have a good start here. Go home and get some sleep. I'll see you all later in the morning."

"Thank you sir," Sam, Josh, Toby, and CJ walked out into the hallway. Noticing the dead silence that was surrounding them.

"Do you think we have a chance of nailing this?" Sam asked everyone. He hated to be a cynic, but after the whole mess with the MS scandal still being dealt with, he couldn't help but ask the question he knew everyone had weighed on their minds.

"We're going to win this thing," Josh stated with as much confidence he could muster up at that late hour. The look on his face was honest, as if he didn't have a worry in the World about the outcome of this campaign.

"Yeah, we're going to do this right," CJ jumped in with the same determination Josh possessed. She smiled at the three of them as she put her hand out flat. "Who's with me?" She said, making it sound almost like a challenge.

"I am," Josh answered quickly and proudly, placing his right hand above hers.

"Me too," Sam agreed as he gathered strength from his fellow friends, placing his hand above Josh's. His eyes stopping on his boss, the man who he would follow anywhere as long as Toby asked him. He could not, nor, would not, be able to do this without Toby.

Josh and CJ both eyed Toby. All three looked at Toby with determination, tiredness, and fear radiating off of their faces. Toby could see how much they wanted this, and how much they needed him to complete the circle, and he wasn't going to be the one to take that dream away. He felt proud at the looks he received. They would never let him leave. And he wouldn't want to.

"Count me in," Toby agreed, trying to sound enthusiastic, which was hard to do when it was after two in the morning. He even managed a smile for them. "One, two, three…"

"Bartlet!" They all said together as hands went up in the air, finalizing their parts in the campaign.

Josh and Sam took off to go home and sleep for a few hours, while CJ and Toby went back to their own offices.

"Oh man," Toby said tiredly as he entered his office. During the meeting, he had completely forgotten about his visitor from earlier that day. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sleep for the next ten days.

"How'd it go?" Mrs. Landingham asked when he closed his office door. Toby jumped back and hit his back against the door. Hard.

"Don't do that!" Toby snapped as he rubbed the ache in his right shoulder from the crash.

"What?" She asked, innocently.

"Scare me like that."

"Oh yes, Toby. Because I scared you on purpose," Mrs. Landingham replied sarcastically.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap," Toby explained softly. He must be tired. He never apologized.

Mrs. Landingham smiled and walked back to his couch and sat down in the spot she had been when she first came back into his life that day.

"Are you going home?" She questioned.

"No. I thought I would just sleep here tonight." He answered, walking over to his desk.

"Nope," Mrs. Landingham shook her head at his answer.

"What?" He asked, confused. He stopped short of his desk to look at her.

"Go home."She ordered him, besides offering it as an idea.

"Mrs. Landingham, I have to be back here by eight in the morning." He explained.

"Home. Now." She crossed her arms and held her stare on him.

"Mrs. Lan…" He began, almost in a whining voice that he hated with a passion.

Mrs. Landingham got up from the couch and moved closer to Toby. He stepped back at the look she was giving him. It was like he was back in time, getting chewed out by his mother for breaking curfew.

"Go home and sleep Toby. Don't make me find a way to hit you on the head with something hard." She threatened. Both had no doubt she could, and would, find a way to make the threat an actuality if pushed.

"Yes ma'am," Toby said angrily. Letting her know by the tone in his voice that he was not happy. He knew she didn't care, though. He picked up some papers and his briefcase off of his desk, and started to walk out of his office.

"No papers or briefcase." She said before he walked out.

"I have to have these." He tried to explain, impatiently.

"Why?"

"So I can look them over." He actually had to think about it. He had all these damn papers memorized a week ago. Grabbing them off of his desk was just to showcase his frustration with all her demands.

"You're going to go home and sleep until you have to come back into work. When you get here, then you can look at the papers for probably the millionth time." She knew him, and knew how he worked.

"Fine," Toby put the papers and his briefcase back down on his desk with a slam, and looked over at her.

"Goodnight Toby," She said with a smile once she was satisfied he was leaving all his work at the office, where it belonged.

"Yeah, yeah," Toby mumbled his departure irritation before leaving his office in a huff. Bossed around by a dead woman. Nice going, Toby.

Toby was walking out to his car mumbling more vocal irritation as this whole mess.

"I'm almost certain I'm having a nervous breakdown," He shared out-loud so he could hear the words.

"I know the feeling." A voice replied from behind him.

Toby jumped and turned around quickly to find the face of the new voice.

"Sorry Toby. I didn't mean to scare you," CJ laughed at Toby's reaction. His face was as pale as a ghost, and he stumbled backward, clenching his hand over his heart. She had an urge to hug him, just to make him feel better. She had been standing out by his car, waiting for him to leave work. She had watched him walk out of the White House, muttering the whole time with a pissed off look pasted on his face. She almost snuck away, afraid maybe she had caused his sudden anger.

"Oh, it's just fine. Everyone else seems to be doing that today." He mumbled again, as he looked down at his tie to begin fidgeting with it. He did that a lot when he was around CJ.

"Who else scared you?" She asked, thankful that his face was now back to the original color and the pissed off look was dismissed. He now held a look of reluctance, and nervousness. He was looking at his tie, which he did a lot when she was around. At least she witnessed him holding back the urge to play with it.

"Mrs. La…never mind." He didn't dare mention his visitor from beyond the grave. It was hard enough to handle him going insane in his own mind, so he didn't feel the need to spread the information to others. Especially CJ. "I thought everyone went home already?" He asked, gearing the conversation back into safer grounds. He made eye contact with her finally.

"I am now. I had to get some papers from my office to look over at home." She explained, knowing he understood what she was talking about. On that note, she finally noticed he wasn't carrying his normal work load home with him tonight.

"Must be nice," Toby mumbled sarcastically. He wanted his briefcase. He wanted those papers he already had memorized. All he had was his work. And because of that, Mrs. Landingham put her foot down and made him leave without anything. How the hell was that small action going to help him and his lonely life?

"What?" CJ asked, confused as hell at his response and the look after the response. He almost looked annoyed at the fact of not having any work in his hands right now to take home. If he wanted to work, why didn't he just bring it with him? Did someone ban that from happening? And if so, whom?

"Nothing." He shrugged. Great, he was acting like a total fool and lunatic in front of his best friend. He growled and began bouncing on the heels of his feet, trying to will himself to disappear. He tried to smile reassuringly at her, letting her know he hadn't lost his mind. But the smile came across as a pathetic snarl. He quickly dispersed with it and decided on his famous frowned instead.

"Why are you still here?" She felt that question might be safer then if she asked why he didn't bring material with him to work on at home.

"I had to get some things." He answered, immediately remembering the lack of materials in his hands. He cursed himself. He was batting a million today!

CJ again looked at Toby's empty hands. She bit her lip from saying the wrong thing, not wanting to piss him off.

"Did you forget it?" She asked carefully, adding a bit of a teasing tone in her question. Teasing she knew he accepted, and liked. Banter was a favorite among them. She smiled, almost shyly, at him.

"Changed my mind at the last minute." Toby explained pathetically. She was trying so hard not to make this hard on him. He smiled weakly at her efforts.

"Why?" She was curious now. Screw it. If he got pissed, he got pissed. She was confused as hell right now at his behavior.

"I just thought I would actually sleep a little and not stay up and work." He decided to explain Mrs. Landingham's version, but of course leaving the name in his head and out of his spoken words.

"That's not like you. You usually stay awake all night and work. Are you feeling okay?" She asked, concern radiating through the look she gave him.

"Fine, just fine." He hated making her worry about him. He hated it even more that he was lying to her. He wasn't fine. He felt like he was twirling around in a circle, and was about to run head first into a brick wall.

"Maybe I should try that sometime, huh?" CJ decided to joke to ease the tension that was starting to bubble up between them, and flashed Toby her famous grin. She could see he was mainly stuck in his head at that point and decided to end the discussion. "Goodnight Toby," She said with a shaky voice full of concern. She turned and started toward her car.

"Goodnight CJ," Toby replied quietly, so quiet he wasn't sure she even heard him. He watched her walk to her car, get in, and drive away from him without even a second glance. She was beautiful, which was exactly why Toby could never tell her or anyone his feelings for her. She would never feel the same way about him, as he continued to tell himself. In less then five minutes, he managed to confuse her, worry her, and anger her. He could hear the worry in her departing words, and feel her concerned look staring at him before leaving. Another reason he would never allow his feelings to be revealed: He hurt her too much.

Toby got into his car and started it. He looked around for a moment and then drove away. He knew in his heart that he wanted to work in the White House for another four years. To work for President Bartlet. Yet he knew it was going to take a lot for that to happen this time. They had pure dumb luck during the first election. They were going to need a lot more this time around.

When Toby pulled into his driveway, he got out of his car and walked up to his door. Before he went in, he looked around his neighborhood and saw how peaceful it was at this time. He liked it. It was the first time that day that he had complete piece. And complete silence.

He walked into his house and placed his keys and jacket on the table adjacent from the door. He walked directly to his bedroom. Once inside, he shut his door. He took off his shoes, socks, and tie. Then he sat down on his bed and looked at himself in the mirror. He remembered what Mrs. Landingham had told him earlier.

"She's right. I'm getting old and I'm alone," Toby mumbled to himself. He turned on his alarm clock to wake him up later that morning, and then he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. He did the same with his pants. Then he put on an old white tee-shirt. He already had boxers on, so he fell back down on his bed and covered himself up. He shut his eyes and tried to get the day he had just had out of his head for a little bit. The only thing that stayed in his head now was Mrs. Landingham. He didn't understand why he was seeing her. Why she was there. Or why she wanted to help him. But his thoughts soon escaped him and he was soon fast asleep.

TBC


	2. Helping Toby 2

Part 2

"BEEP, BEEP." The alarm clock wailed once the time struck 6:00.

Toby didn't even get up from the bed. He just reached over and shut the alarm off. He then turned from his stomach onto his back. He looked up at the ceiling and shook his head.

"I need more sleep then this." He stated outloud as he rubbed his tired eyes.

"Yes you do." The reply came out of nowhere.

Toby jumped a little, looked in the direction of the foot of his bed, and saw Mrs. Landingham standing there, looking down on him.

"Stop that!" He demanded. Tossing his hands in the air in utter frustration. Damn, it wasn't just a horrible dream.

"Nice boxers," Mrs. Landingham noted, eyeing the fact that none of the covers on his bed were covering him.

Toby looked down at himself and quickly pulled the covers up, embarrassment forming in his face.

"You work out?" Mrs. Landingham asked flirtatiously.

"Shut up." Toby groaned. Was a dead woman flirting with him? Seriously? He needed help.

"Time to start the day Toby. Why don't you go take a shower?" She asked in that tone that let Toby know she wasn't suggesting that as an idea, it was an order.

"I will." He conceded.

"Okay," Mrs. Landingham kept standing there, waiting for him to get out of bed. Acting like she belonged there.

"Mrs. Landingham?" Toby spoke after a few minutes of trying to kick her out with evil stares, and loud growls. All she did was smile down at him.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to leave the room so I can go take a shower?" Toby asked, almost pleading. With all his luck, she would pop up during his shower with another 'order' that should have been presented as an offered idea. She was exactly the same Mrs. Landingham that kept piece and respect in the outer oval office. Only without the homemade cookies he never got.

"Oh, sorry," She smiled and started to walk out of the bedroom. "Don't take long." She called over her shoulder. Another 'order', he thought. Why did he get the feeling today was going to end up worse than yesterday?

"Yeah, yeah," Toby mumbled his response once she was long gone and got out of bed to start his day. He carefully guarded certain viewing areas on his person while he padded into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. This was silly. He lived alone, and he was locking his bathroom door to keep ghosts out of his private space! He cursed himself before starting the shower.

After the shower, Toby walked out of the bathroom in just his boxers, totally forgetting about his early morning visitor after his extra long shower that he fell asleep three times in. He padded into the kitchen barefoot to start the coffee machine so he can start waking up.

"Nice," She appraised his look with a chuckle. She was sitting atop one of the counters in his kitchen, feet just dangling away.

"Oh crap!" Toby responded, suddenly covering his most private part with his hands. "I got my shirt wet." He explained weakly. "And I don't owe you an explanation!" He corrected quickly as he glared at her.

"No need to explain Toby. I was married once. I know how men look while they're walking around the house in the morning." She smiled at his discomfort. She might as well have some fun with him while she could. She was only here for a limited time, and he was the only one she could have contact with.

"I'll go change." He mentioned as he started back toward the way he came to dress for the day. Ghost or not, he was not for her viewing pleasure.

"Make your coffee first Toby. Don't worry about it." She explained softly, trying to make him feel better. She jumped off the counter with ease, almost as if she was floating on air. Maybe she was, for all he knew.

"I think I'll get dressed. Besides, I have to go to work early." He blurted out before stopping himself. He shut his eyes and rubbed his temple, already feeling a headache coming full steam ahead. She wouldn't like the fact that he was planning on going in early. She would have another 'order' that would probably make him go out and jog the block a few times. The idea had him wanting to find a cliff and hauling his ass overboard.

"No, you don't." She started with that 'order' tone.

"Yes I do." He argued. She was not going to will this time. No way.

"No, you don't." She argued back. Did he actually think he could win this battle with her? She asked herself silently with amusement.

"Mrs. Landingham, I work in the White House. I'm the Communications Director. I have important things to do." He explained, trying to keep his temper level. She was Mrs. Landingham, after-all. Respect had always been shown, and will continue as long as he can manage it. She's a feisty dead woman. He'd give her that.

"Call her." She said simply. Loving the fact that she could trip him up in his own home.

"What?" Toby asked in confusion at the change of the topic. He was still half asleep, has had absolutely no coffee, and she was already playing mind tricks with him again. He rubbed his temple with more force.

"Ask her if you can pick her up for work. Offer her a ride. Be a gentleman." She explained with a grin. He had no idea what she was talking about. She liked playing with him. Yes, as mean as it was to do this to someone before morning coffee was usually beneath someone like her. But he wanted to work early, and wouldn't take her no for an answer. So, on with confusing conversation. She smiled to herself.

"What the hell..." Toby gave up, and tossed his hands in the air in frustration. Not only was he at a complete loss as to what she was talking about, but he could see her grinning and knew she was enjoying torturing him.

"CJ." Mrs. Landingham mentioned after a few moments. She was hoping he would figure it out, but he was just looking at her with wide-eyes full of confusion and annoyance.

"CJ has a car last time I checked. Why would she want me to drive her? Besides, I was talking about something else." He said, trying to remember the prior topic he was about to set forth and win. He made no shocked faces or sounds when she mentioned CJ's name. She was probably watching the whole embarrassing scene from his window last night when CJ had waited to say goodnight to him. He hid back a smile, not wanting to reward the woman poking her head into his already messy life.

"I know you were talking about something else, but I want to talk about this. Call her." She crossed her arms and said insistently. She mentally patted him on the back for showing backbone.

"No." He mimicked her stance by crossing his arms in front of his chest, holding his head high.

"Yes." She nodded knowingly.

"No."

"Yes."

"You know what? You're starting to bug me." Toby pointed at her, almost as if he was issuing her a warning.

"I know. I love it," She smiled. She watched his face go from shocked, too angry, to back to shocked again. He was trying so hard not to yell at her. Good boy. If she only had one of her homemade cookies, he'd finally get one from her.

"I am not going to call her. Besides, why would I?" He asked, confused again as to why they were even talking about this. If he didn't sound like a big enough nut job last night, what would she think of him if he called and asked her if she would like a ride to work. Even though she lived nowhere near him, or the White House. She would think him insane, tell the President, and he'd be talking with a shrink by weeks' end. The idea made him actually sick to his stomach.

"You love her." Mrs. Landingham answered, saying it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if everyone knew it to be true besides the two people it would directly impact.

"What?" Toby asked loudly. Completely flabbergasted about this whole conversation. She was a ghost, not a physic. Or was she? God, he needed to be put into straitjacket and locked away for the rest of his years. Maybe she was here to do just that. Another joke on him by the Man upstairs.

"Oh Toby. It's obvious. I'm not stupid." She shook her head, a smile tugging the corner of her lips. He was a brilliant man, she didn't need to play dumb and explain it all to him. He loved her. He knew that. But, he is Toby Ziegler, and he would deny any such accusation just because he doesn't like the idea that someone can see through him.

"I do not love her." He defended. Well, he waited less then a minute before denying it. She smiled, knowing he was mentally cursing himself for that error.

"Yes you do." She bantered back playfully.

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Stop that!" Toby yelled, growing tired of the back-and-forth 'yes' and 'no' game they kept running into. "Look. I like her as a friend. She is a friend. That's it. And guess what?" He knew denying it would do him no good, but he hated the fact that she saw it. That she saw the love he tried so hard to hide from everyone when it came to CJ. Hell, even Andrea never saw it.

"What?" She hiked her shoulders up, acting hurt at the outburst. It wouldn't work on him.

"She is a friend who has a car," Toby finished sarcastically before heading up to his room to get changed. Ha! He finally had the last word.

"Fine. You don't call her. I'll make her call you." She said quietly as she watched him exit the kitchen and waited until his figure disappeared down the hallway.

Less than five minutes later, the phone began ringing.

Toby was in the middle of dressing when he heard the phone. He walked over and answered it without thinking twice about who it might be.

"Hello?" He answered, almost abruptly. He was in the middle of tying his neck tie, which he wasn't good at in the first place, let alone having to multitask.

"Toby, I need a favour." CJ's voice boomed out, causing Toby to stop dead in his tracks.

"CJ? What's wrong?" He asked, trying to sound passive.

"My car won't start. I don't know what's wrong with the piece of junk. Can you possibly pick me up on your way to work?" She asked. " I know it's out of the way, and we might be late. I'll..."

"Your car won't start." Toby repeated without any shock at all. CJ's voice fading in his ear as he looked over at his open bedroom door and saw Mrs. Landingham standing there with a cat-ate-the-canary smile on her face. "That's a surprise," He mumbled as he glared over at the woman.

"What?" CJ asked, confused. She was in the middle of apologizing to him for the bother when he mumbled something she didn't understand.

"Oh, nothing. I'll be there in 20 minutes." Toby answered finally. His voice sounded flat, and he quickly covered his tracks. "It's no problem." He ignored the thumbs-up his comment got from Mrs. Landingham.

"Thanks Toby." She smiled into the receiver, suddenly sadly aware he couldn't hear her smile. She quickly began thinking of ways she could pay him back. Maybe lunch?

"Yeah." Toby mumbled shyly.

After saying quick goodbyes, Toby hung up the phone and looked over at Mrs. Landingham with irritation. Now he would likely be late for work, and he knew he couldn't explain to Leo it was because of the Presidents' former secretary.

"Well, congratulations. You have succeeded. I'm picking her up for work," Toby confirmed reluctantly. Not allowing the small feeling he felt of being a gallant sneak through for her pleasure. He was happy CJ had called him before anyone else. Or did she just call him because the Powers That Be forced her to? Great, now he just felt used and irritated.

"I know. I'm very proud of myself," She smiled, then laughed at Toby's expression that dripped of annoyance.

"Go away now." Toby ordered with a wave is his hand. Maybe he could forge some powers and make all of this go away and he can wake up in his bed, with no one lurking in the shadows, and start the day all over again. But, she still smirked with her face full of triumph.

"See you later." She called out behind her shoulder as she walked back out into the hallway and disappeared.

"I can't wait," Toby mumbled his fake excitement as he finished buttoning up his shirt. Brown. CJ liked him in brown. He closed his eyes and moaned in aggravation. Great, now it's like high school all over again.

TBC


	3. Helping Toby 3

Part 3

Toby pulled into CJ's driveway less then a half-hour later, and waited for her to come out. He remembered the time she bought this house. He went all over DC trying to find her a house that she had wanted. She purposely made out a list of things she wanted for the house. The list ended up being nearly five pages. This house covered three of the five, and he manually helped her build her other demands from her final two pages of requirements and apparently 'made and house a house'.

"Sorry I took so long," CJ apologized while getting into the passenger's side of Toby's car. She smiled at him, looking nothing like the departing figure he saw last night before she left. Worry, anger, curiosity. This morning she looked calm, cool, collected, and stunning.

"It's okay," He smiled back as she buckled her seatbelt. Loving the way the scent of her perfume filled his car, and how it would linger on his clothes for the rest of the day.

"Thank you so much for this Toby." CJ turned to him, showing her gratitude through one of her big smiles she knew he loved. She allowed herself a moment to take in the scent of aftershave that lingered on him. And the sight of how good he looked in his brown suit. She loved brown on him.

"Don't mention it." He nodded and acted like the favour was nothing important to thank him over. A friend helping a friend.

"So, did you get some sleep?" She asked as he pulled out of the driveway and started toward work. She smiled as he drove like a maniac, just like he did when she met him in New York. Maybe they won't be late, after-all.

"Yeah, I did. It was nice," He smiled as he realized he actually did get some sleep last night. "I normally don't get any sleep." He said as an afterthought. He knew he didn't have to explain how sometimes the job didn't allow more then a few hours here or there. She lived the same life he did, in that respect.

"So leaving work at the office helps, huh?" She was still amazed he had gone home last night with nothing at all. And after confronting him about it in the parking lot, he just mumbled unheard words and bounced up and down on the heels of his shoes. He looked confused last night, maybe even bitter. But she knew it wasn't directed toward her, which somehow made all the difference. But that didn't keep her up most of the night thinking about it. Thinking about him.

"Yeah, you should try it sometime." He mentioned, trying to keep his eyes on the road, and away from her new dress he knew she had on today. The slit on the dress showing bare leg, which would capture his undivided attention and the road in front of them would become an afterthought. Something he might regret when the car ran straight into a tree, or down a ditch. He vowed to get them to work in one piece. No bare leg obsession for him to feast on today. Another thing shot to hell today.

"Yeah, maybe," CJ laughed at the thought. She wouldn't know what to do if she didn't give herself a hernia every night carrying piles of work from her car into the house. Then resurrecting the hernia that next morning when she hauled everything back to the car. "I never thought you would ever be able to do that." She confessed quietly, afraid of hitting a nerve from his mood last night. She fixed her new dress she wore to allow the slit to show off more leg, sort of a thank you for the rescue he did for her this morning. He was always a legs man.

"Yeah, well, I sort of had to leave it there." He said without thought. He was too busy eyeing the bare leg as the slit grew larger, showing even more leg. Damn. Leg, leg, and more leg. Shit, road, road, stay on the road.

"Why?" She asked automatically. She had this problem when she was around Toby. She never stopped asking him questions. Especially when they were about him and what was going on in that brilliant mind of his. Seems he likes the thank you gift that was coming from her new outfit, she smirked.

"It's a long story." He answered simply. His eyes darting between the road and bare leg that woke a part of him up inside his stomach that he had simply forgotten about. Damn, he was multitasking again. Road, conversation, and more leg then he thought possible on a woman. He glanced down at the sad shape his neck tie was in. He was dealing with it when he was dealing with the call from CJ, Mrs. Landingham and her thumbs-up, and tying the tie. Poor tie. It lost the fight of his attention this morning, and was now limp. He made a mental note to fix it when he got into his office.

She smiled at his simple answer, knowing that was all she was likely going to get out of him now, and looked out the window. The simple answer was an easy out for him, but it was also a lie. And that was something they agreed never to deal with again. She knew something was up with Toby, but she had no idea what it was and decided it best to leave it alone for now. She bounced her leg up and down, allowing the slit to extend. She smirked at she imagined how dizzy he was going to be once we got the car parked. Eyes are not meant to dart back and forth for a long period of time. But she knew that was the last thing on his mind. As long as they didn't crash into a tree, she didn't care.

"I'll buy lunch," CJ offered as Toby parked his car in his reserved spot in the White House parking lot. His eyes hurt, and he had a headache. He should have just kept his eyes on one damn thing. But, he would have chosen leg, and they'd be turned over in the car by now. He shut his eyes tight to make the pain lessen. It didn't work.

"What?" He looked over at her after the offer finally hit a working brain cell, debating with himself if she might be asking him out on a date. Yep, he was a goner. Call the nut house and reserve him a room in solitary confinement.

"You were nice enough to pick me up and bring me to work this morning at the last minute. I think it's only right I buy us lunch," She explained to him with a smile as she emerged from the car, letting her slit move across her thigh openly. She noticed Toby suddenly turned still. She smiled inwardly. She's still got it.

After taking a moment to collect his thoughts, and to get the picture of a naked thigh out of his mind. He answered her with what he thought she would want to hear. "It's okay. You don't have to."

"But I want to," She said seriously as she met his gaze. His eyes were on hers, not her leg for once that morning.

"Okay," He gave in, despite himself. Smiling at her, he simply nodded. "I would like that." Can I see more leg and thigh? Please.

"Good," She smiled and motioned for them to start walking. Noticing his eyes were back on her leg. She laughed. Then laughed more when he shrugged at her with a knowing smirk and set his eyes back down on her bare skin. He didn't care he was ogling her in public, all he wanted was his daily allotment of bare leg images.

They both walked through the doors moments later, entering The White House. Preparing themselves for another long day. Ginger snapped his attention away from CJ's leg, and glared at her. CJ laughed, and Ginger rolled her eyes at him.

After Toby and CJ got further in the White House, they didn't even have a chance to sit down. CJ went directly to the pressroom to give the morning briefing, and Toby grabbed Sam and they both went into Toby's office to start on one of the Presidents' 'running for reelection' speeches he would have to give in the next few days. Weeks. Months. Toby smiled and welcomed the work. He would have to take some it home, so Mrs. Landingham can go order someone else around.

"We have to be careful on what we say right now. We need votes, and pissing people off right now with what we say and/or do, will ensure no chance of being here for another four years. We have to kiss ass to win this thing," Sam explained for the fifth time that hour. He hated it. Everyone hated it.

"Sam…"

"No Toby. This is not going to work if we say what's on our minds. It can't..."

"Sam!" Toby yelled, interrupting Sam mid-sentence. The bouncy ball Toby had been tossing against the wall for the past hour missed the desired target, and smashed into the water pitcher that was set out in the meeting room. Everyone eyed the mess besides Toby.

"What?" He asked briskly, his eyes darting between the mess and his boss.

"Let Bartlet be Bartlet. If they kick our ass out of here for being right, then screw 'em. We are not going to back down because we're afraid to piss people off. We're going to do this thing, and we are going to do it our way." Toby explained harshly. No one took him as being an ass, or smacking Sam down. He was just making his point be heard.

Toby finished and looked around. He saw Leo, Josh, CJ, and Sam standing there looking at him instead of the watery mess one of the janitors began attending to, shooting a few glares in Toby's direction after tossing the wet ball back into Toby's hand. He wondered if the looks he was receiving were of a condescending nature. He shrugged them off suddenly and bounced his ball against the floor.

"What?" He asked, almost nervously. Aware no one was talking, just staring at him. He thought the janitor was plotting the perfect revenge that would wreck havoc in the near future. He was thankful for the loud breath CJ took, gathering everyone back to attention.

"I got to tell you Toby. You're hot when you're like this," CJ stated with a wink. Causing Toby to blush. She was the only one who could make him blush. Sadly for him, she knew that too.

"He's right. If we are going to do this thing, we are going to do it right," Leo added. "Let Bartlet be Bartlet." He nodded his agreement, smiling at Toby and silently giving him a pat on the back.

"Yeah," Everyone in the room jumped in, agreeing with all the statements being made. Everyone sending looks of thanks and appreciation in Toby's direction, which he ducked from at random.

After the meeting, Toby slowly walked the halls back to his office. He was glad that everyone was on the same track. He thought that if everyone did his or her best that everything would work out and Jed Bartlet would be reelected. He just hoped for an easy few days, which he knew deep down wouldn't happen.

"Oh man," Toby said, yawning as he walked into his office, and fell into the chair behind his desk. He didn't know why, but he was so exhausted. He shut his eyes and rested his head back against the back of his chair, groaning inwardly.

"Good man." Mrs. Landingham's voice rang out like a buzzer. His five seconds of rest were up, and his grand prize is...more 'orders' from Mrs. Landingham. Toby tried to determine the moment his life turned into the worse game show. No matter what door he picked, nothing but torment and misery were awarded to him.

Toby jumped and literally fell out of his chair and landed on his butt on the hard floor. He sighed loudly, so his guest could hear it.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" Mrs. Landingham asked between laughs.

"You think that was funny? That hurt." He replied, trying to sound hurt.

"I bet. You don't really have very much cushion to fall on." She mentioned with humor.

"What?" He looked at her with a confused look.

"Oh, just admit it Toby. You have a flat butt." She snickered.

"Why are we talking about my butt?" Toby asked, slowing pushing himself back up on his feet. He brushed the unseen dirt off of his behind, quickly checking to see if he did indeed have a flat butt. Before he could answer the question, he rolled his eyes at himself for even caring. He left it unanswered.

"It's just fun," Mrs. Landingham replied between laughs. She hadn't laughed like this is a long time, she thought. Too bad it was at Toby's expense.

"Whatever." He mumbled.

"You did very well today Toby." She congratulated him, her words sincere.

"With what?" He asked as he made his way back to his chair.

"They are all listening to you Toby. Don't you see? They are all waiting for you to say something so they can follow you. Josh, Sam, CJ, even Leo, are all listening to you for guidance. They trust you and respect what you say. They need you to guide them, and you did very well in doing so. You know what needs to be done." She said, pride pulsating through her voice.

Toby sat back in his seat and looked over at her. He noticed the sincerity in her face and eyes, but it caught his attention in her voice. He actually flickered with a small smile.

"I really miss you Mrs. Landingham," Toby mentioned truthfully. She might have been poking her nose in the part of his life he worked desperately at to keep private, but she was a person whom he enjoyed very much when she was alive. And even now, in a form of a ghost, she's still the Mrs. Landingham who would never give him a cookie unless it was a special occasion. He would always have Josh or Sam talk their way into getting two from Mrs. Landingham, then sliding it into Toby's hands without her knowledge. He asked himself if she ever knew that happened. Then he smiled and answered his own question. Of course she did. She knew everything, and even he'll admit Josh or Sam can never be charming enough to get her to relinquish two cookies in one day. He smiled at the memory, gaining a look from her that questioned what he was thinking of. "Cookies." He said simply. She tilted her head back and laughed.

"I'm right here Toby." She looked at him with tears in her eyes. That was hard for him to say, she knew. That was why she was here. He bottled everything inside. The fact that he sneaks secret birthday gifts to Ginger and Bonnie once a year, always signing the card with 'wouldn't you like to know'. Offering to take CJ and Donna suntan lotion shopping prior to each California trip. The two women seem to always find themselves drunk off cheap booze by the end of the day, so he would take control and makes sure they got home safe. Secondly, it helps serve his leg obsession since both women will wear short shorts, no matter the weather in DC. Another secret being how he helped Josh after the shooting with shopping and cleaning on the days Donna couldn't make it. How he had been the one Josh confided in, when it got to be too much for him during one Christmas season. Toby had talked Josh into talking with Stanley, with Leo as backup just in case. Also, much to his dismay, he knew just about every detail, good or bad, about Sam Seaborn. Late night discussions or shop talk turned into late night confessions. For Sam anyway. Being a good friend, and making sure no one else was around to witness the kind act, Toby offered his ear to listen, and gave his opinions on some of the problems. It would always end with Sam smiling like a five-year-old on Christmas morning, and hugging Toby for what seemed like hours.

"You know what I mean." He rolled his eyes at her sarcasm, but found himself smiling right along with her. He didn't know she knew all his secrets. She probably shouldn't have known, but she always listened to conversations around her desk, and hints began dropping like flies. She once asked if he was the, Secret Birthday Gift Sweetheart, that being the name Ginger and Bonnie came up with. All Toby did was shrug, but walked away with a grin she'd never seen before. Guilty as sin.

"I know Toby." She nodded her understanding, smiling at all the memories she had here. How she missed being here.

"We all miss you. You were the face that everyone looked to for support when things looked bad. You always looked at the positive side of everything. Always." He said in a shy tone, treading into unknown waters with his candid speaking. His eyes glazed over with sadness when he realized she was really gone, and he was damn lucky to have her here with him now, if only for a short time. 'Ordering' him into doing things he wanted to keep a distance from. She was making him face his fears. No one ever did that for him before. Ever. She was pushing him into facing his feelings about everything around him. His job, his life, his friends, what his place here really means, CJ. She was making him see the light if his true feelings for CJ, the feelings he buried so deep inside himself he had almost forgotten they existed. He didn't want to love her. He didn't want to want her. He hates to admit his feelings for her stem from the moment they met, but he was married after that time. He loved Andrea, wanted it to work with her, wanted to make her happy and thankful for someone like him. But he screwed that up. Hurt her in ways he hated to admit. And he didn't want to think his feelings for CJ clouded any mistakes he made with his wife. He even went as far as moving across country away from CJ to work on his marriage. Nothing worked. They divorced, yet remain great friends. And CJ was back in his life full time, and he refused to take a step toward something more. He would not hurt her like he hurt Andi. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"That's because I had faith in all of you." She explained, feeling as if his mind had drifted away from the conversation they were having. "I have faith in you. And I trust you will do the right thing. Not only for others, but for yourself. You deserve to be happy, Toby. Happy can be your default position." She cracked.

He chuckled at the last line, filing it away for possible future use. Then took his time to file away the rest of what she said. Wishing she was right about him. Wishing he could believe in himself as much as she apparently did. "You are one of a kind." He looked back into her eyes and smiled, hoping he was speaking in a way that told her how serious he was. Wishing she was here for everyone right now. He had never been that lucky in life, yet out of every member of the staff, including the President, Mrs. Landingham or the Powers That Be, chose him to be the one she came to. He was picked to be the one. That didn't happen to him.

"I know," She smiled as she accepted his words, wishing he would accept the words she spoke to him. About him. "Toby?"

"Yeah?" He was trying hard to get out of his head, wanting to treasure this moment with her as if it would be the last they would share. He could deal with his demons later, right now Mrs. Landingham should have his complete attention.

"How did it go with CJ?" She asked with major joy in her voice. She watched his face fall, and felt a twinge of something totally opposite of joy for bringing him down again. No, she was here to fix that about him, she reminded herself. She held her head up and smiled like a proud mother.

"How did I know you were going to ask me about that?" Toby replied sarcastically as he leaned back into his chair and ran his hand over the top of his head in mock frustration. He hid the smile that took over his mouth at the site of Mrs. Landingham looking at him with such nervousness. Like he was about to confess that they were getting married, and having a baby. The image of that gathered in his thoughts, and he swiftly shoved them alongside the demons that were waiting next in line to be dealt with. He quickly had a look into the future. And it had him still fighting the demons and the dreams until he was old and withered. He frowned when he saw himself alone, fighting with the damn haunts in his head. And smiled when he heard himself curse Mrs. Landingham for letting them out of the gate. Even well into his nineties, he'll remember this impromptu visit that let the prisoners in his mind escape. Yep, she better be saving him a very comfy seat on whatever cloud she's taken over.

TBC


	4. Helping Toby 4

Part 4

"Well?" Mrs. Landingham was still asking, her voice growing agitated.

"I picked her up and brought her here. Not a lot to tell." Toby said, fidgeting with his tie.

"Tobias Ziegler, you better have asked her out," She snapped. Why was he so stubborn? And why did he always play with his tie when he was trying to dodge questions?

"No, in fact, I didn't," He snickered, gaining confidence as he noticed her getting irritated. He didn't want to discuss this with her. He didn't want to face his feelings for CJ. She was right that he hid too much away from the World. But this was for a reason. He could not hurt CJ.

"Why?" She asked, taking a cautious deep breath as she witnessed a flicker of fear in Toby's eyes as he thought about this.

"Because, she is just a friend." He tried to sound believable. He had told himself that line over and over again since the day he met her. She was his best friend. Never to be anything more, and hopefully anything less.

"You love her." She said, almost as if confessing it to him for the first time. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. One she thought he needed to hear outloud.

"No I don't." He tried hiding behind the wall he had built regarding this subject in his mind. That wall was crumbling quickly under the doubts that Mrs. Landingham flooded his mind with. He wanted to curse her for it, but he knew it wasn't her fault he had built this wall decades ago. Hiding things from not only other people, but from himself too.

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Okay, didn't we do this before? Stop it." Toby tried to sound angry at her, but his voice came out as soft as silk. Frankly, a voice he didn't think he even had until that moment.

"So nothing happened?" She continued on. She was just as shocked at the tone of his voice as he appeared to be.

"She said that she would buy me lunch." He confessed against his better judgement. Again, he felt ten-years-old, facing his mother for breaking the kitchen glass window with a baseball.

"It's nine at night," Mrs. Landingham mentioned after regarding Toby's wrist watch that was sitting near the corner of his desk. It having been removed that afternoon for reasons he no longer remembered.

"Yeah, well. We didn't have time to eat today. If you hadn't noticed, it's been quite busy around here today." He waved his hand around the numerous mountains of information leaning awkwardly to the sides on his desk, indicating the work he still had to do.

"I noticed," Mrs. Landingham condoned the fact that it had probably been a madhouse all-day. But, she needed him to think outside work. To see he had a life besides this job. "Ask her to dinner tonight." She mentioned, again in the tone of it being told as an order, not an idea for him to ponder.

"No."

"Yes." She smirked as they started the popular back-and-forth banter that always seemed to enter into the conversations they had.

"I'm not about to start that again," Toby ended it quickly, growing impatient. He didn't like to talk about his personal life at all. And even if he might have just shown her a little bit of the hidden feelings in his head, time was up and he slammed the door into his mind shut. When he opened his eyes once again to confront her, she was gone. And he knew, in his gut, she wasn't coming back. She knew he saw what needed to be done. Now it was up to him to actually get it done and fix his life before it spirals out of control.

"Toby?" His name came from a different source this time. But stung his heart, knowing he would never see Mrs. Landingham again.

Toby looked over at his office doorway and saw CJ standing there holding her briefcase, her coat hanging off her shoulders, indicating to Toby that she was on her way home. He quickly remembered that she hadn't driven herself in this morning. He smiled at the prospect of taking her, pretending to be her hero, if only for an hour. He shut the doors in his mind, and they would remain shut if he had his way. Hiding the truth about his feelings for CJ in a door with an extra lock on it. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Hey CJ," Toby smiled at her. He hoped she had only just arrived, and hadn't heard his discussion with Mrs. Landingham.

"Hey," She greeted him with one of her perfect smiles. "Who were you talking to?" She asked as she looked around, noticing he stood in his office alone.

"What?" Toby asked dumbly. Damn, she had heard him talking. Did she hear anything about what he said? Oh God, did she hear him talking about her? He looked at her face, trying to find a hint of what she might have heard. Nothing.

"You were talking to someone." She mentioned as she stepped further into his office.

"No I wasn't." Okay, he hated playing dumb. But he didn't really have a choice right now. His mind was drawing a blank for a believable cover story.

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"Why does this keep happen to me?" Toby moaned, he really didn't like this annoying back-and-forth banter he was running into lately.

"What?" She eyed him, concern and confusion spreading over her face.

"Nothing," Toby knew he had to change the line of questioning. "What's up?" He opted for something Josh Lyman would say.

"I came by to ask if you wanted to get a bite to eat for dinner? I know I said lunch, but you know how today went." She smiled apologetically. She knew he understood what she was talking about.

"I told you that you didn't have to buy me anything." He mentioned, allowing her another chance to change her mind.

"I know, and I told you that I wanted to," She replied. She liked the idea of this being a possible date, but kept that part to herself. She then smiled the smile he could never resist.

"You did, huh?" Toby nodded as he remembered how he gave her an out this morning when she mentioned lunch, and how she ignored that too.

"Yeah," CJ laughed.

"I would love to." It slipped out before he had a moment to ponder the words he should use to voice his acceptance to her invitation.

"Good. But I'm hungry now, so get your flat butt in gear." She said in a tone that was joking, yet serious at the same time. All she had eaten that day was a stale bagel during the morning staff meeting, and some nasty blueberry Danish she stole off of Carol's desk around lunch time.

Toby started laughing. He let the 'flat butt' remark pass for now. She was the only one he knew who could convey those two meanings at once, just by the tone in her voice. He got up and started to reach for some papers to take home with him. Then he saw Mrs. Landingham shaking her head at him in his mind, as she had done last night. He smiled and looked back at CJ.

"What?" She asked. Curious about the look in his eyes. He looked at her with eyes that looked like he was plotting something. Evil, perhaps? She raised her brow at him.

"I'll leave these for tomorrow." He waved his hands around the mountains of papers on his desk. He liked the idea of leaving work in the office. He liked the idea that CJ was looking at him with curiosity.

"What has gotten into you lately?" She had to ask. This was totally out of character for him, but she found herself wanting to copy, or at least look into his motivation.

"Why take something home with you that you already know inside and out? I read over these papers a million times this week. Why should I read them again, and at home? I already know every word," Toby paused and saw CJ smile, looking almost proud of him. "Is that bad?" He tilted his head slightly, giving her a look that begged her to question his motives.

"No. It's good," She smiled, unwilling to take the bait from him. He looked almost content, and she didn't want to question that. He deserved it more than anyone. "Mind if I leave my papers here with yours?" She blurted out, almost subconsciously. The idea of going home with no work in hand seemed...well, seemed almost unreal in her mind. Yet she asked anyway.

"Be my guest," Toby nodded, almost looking like he was a bobblehead stuck on the dash of a speeding car.

CJ put her briefcase down on Toby's desk, next to his. She took a deep breath and started to walk out of the office without looking back. Toby smiled at her determination and followed her out, empty-handed as well. When they got outside his office, they both stopped and looked at each other. He smiled at her near shocked expression.

"It's not too bad, is it?" He asked softly.

"It feels good." She answered sincerely. Almost embarrassed at the fact that they weren't even out of the White House yet, and she was already looking for reassurance.

"Yeah, it does," He agreed and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe I will get some sleep later tonight." She mentioned. She had felt tingles just from his simple touch. She wondered how her body would feel if he touched her more. And in more places than just her arm. She hid a blush that began to creep up.

"Trust me, you will." He smiled, noticing for the first time her sudden reaction to his touch. Or maybe that was just in his head.

CJ smiled as they gathered themselves together, and began walking out of the White House to go have dinner. Work having been left in his office for the second night in a row for Toby, and the first night for CJ.

"So, I get to pick where we're eating right?" CJ asked, in her special tone that meant two different things entirely.

"Well, you're buying. So I guess," Toby found himself bantering back. Now he liked this banter. Like old times, before jobs took over their lives.

"Good then." She said in a tone letting Toby know even if he had disagreed, she still would have gotten her way. She was forming a cat-ate-the-canary grin on her face that she couldn't seem to shake. It grew from each glance over her shoulder to make sure Toby was still following her. Smirking as his eyes glued to that tempting slit on her dress.

Toby allowed CJ to drive his car into town. Okay, he handed over the keys when she demanded him to, because it was a surprise where they were going, and she needed to drive them there. She hated giving out driving instructions from the passenger's seat. By then the curiosity he had from watching that smile on her face as they walked out to the car wouldn't allow him to deny her. Plus, he would be free to use that time as a passenger to allow his eyes to focus on one thing only. Her legs, and the question he had as to how high that slit actually went.

About 30-minutes later, CJ pulled over to the side of the road and parked in the last parking spot available. Toby could tell she knew what she was doing, and was more than a little bit curious at seeing where she was taking him for dinner.

"We're here," CJ stated excitedly. She quickly unhooked the seatbelt and got out of the car. Toby greeted her from his side and allowed her to take the lead. He couldn't help but smile at the idea of being out with her. Even if it was a payback dinner for a favour he had done for her.

"Okay," Toby looked around and noticed they were near the Potomac. People were strolling around, categorized as they passed: old couples, new couples, family walking with family, dog walkers, the occasional loner. Toby looked at CJ and smiled, wished he could take her hand and just walk the night away. He followed her up to a lone hotdog stand. She shot him a smile that melted his heart from over her shoulder. She grabbed her purse. "Hotdogs?" Toby stated the obvious. He hadn't had a hotdog in years. It actually sounded appetizing.

"Hey, don't mock the hotdog. One of the greatest foods ever created," CJ commented as she grabbed Toby's hand and pulled him closer to the stand. "Two hot dogs with mustard and onion." She smiled at the older man behind the stand. Something about her smile let Toby know this wasn't the first time she'd been here, having been helped by this man.

"Nice choice." Toby commented in a joking manner. He smiled innocently as she tried to glare at him.

"Thank you. Now what do you want?" She asked, keeping her eye on her two hotdogs being set up. Her stomach was growling at her to hurry up.

"I thought you just ordered me one." Toby asked, looking between the hotdogs and CJ.

"Are you kidding?" She laughed loudly, gripping his elbow. "I haven't eaten all day. These two dogs are mine." She was trying to sound serious, and tried to make a look form on her face that would make him shudder at the thought of stealing one of her hotdogs, but she couldn't stop smiling at his expression.

"I'll have the same," He told the vender, shaking his head. Not in disbelief, but of the fact that she was acting almost adolescent. He liked the idea of her letting go of work, and being this way with him. He found himself laughing softly at her. With her.

"What are you laughing at?" She asked as she paid the vendor for the four hotdogs before he started to prepare Toby's order. She noticed the vendor was smiling and shaking his head at the two of them.

"You haven't changed a bit in sixteen years, Claudia Jean," He stated as fact as he watched his dinner being finalized. His stomach growling impatiently.

"Yes I have. I am all grown up," She defended herself as she gathered her dinner, and a handful of napkins. She waited until he had his order and they began walking toward an empty bench.

"You might look it, but you don't act like it," He bantered back purposely. Watching her reaction from the corner of his eye.

"You want me to hit you with something? Hard?" She threatened halfheartedly, bumping into him on purpose. She smiled when the action won her a chuckle out of him.

"No ma'am." He lowered his head, still laughing. He made himself sound like a small boy who was just caught vandalizing after school.

"Good," She tried to ignore the feeling she got in her stomach at his innocent look. She was having a good time with him tonight. Bantering and leaving work at work. And she was laughing. Something she hadn't done in a while. "Sit." She ordered as they came up to the bench at last.

"Okay, okay. Calm down now," Toby obeyed with a smile. He sat down and looked up at CJ, his bottom lip sticking out on purpose.

She couldn't handle cute Toby. All she wanted to do was take that bottom lip between her teeth and suck on it. Playful Toby was what got her heart racing. She sat down and took the path that was less traveled, and started in on her next question. "Can I ask you a question Toby?" CJ asked, still debating the need to ask the following.

"Depends on the question," Toby answered, trying to hide the worried tone in his voice as he took a bite out of his hotdog.

"What is up with you lately? You haven't been acting normal since last night: The speech in Leo's office, picking me up for work at the last minute without any fuss, which you have never done before. Is everything okay?" She asked everything so quickly, she half-thought he would make her repeat it. And she really didn't want to have to ask it all again. She didn't want to dampen the mood they were in.

"Why does everyone think it's a bad thing if I'm in a good mood?" He asked, keeping his voice in check.

"Because you're never in one." She replied shortly.

"Funny girl," Toby said sarcastically. He was soon debating if that was the reason she might not want to be with him. He was a mean, old man with nothing to offer but a ride in a car he will never stop making payments on. Some catch, he thought.

"I mean it, Toby. I have known you for sixteen years. The only time you acted like this was when…." CJ caught herself before she could say anymore. She didn't want to bring up the past. Certainly this part of his past. It would only serve to piss him off, and she didn't want to end the night yet.

"What?" Toby looked over at her, his eyes glazed with understanding and confusion over what she was saying. Understanding she was worried about him. Confusion over what she should be worried about.

"Nothing. Never mind." CJ decided not to go there. Partly because she didn't think she could handle it.

"No, what?" Toby pushed the subject with a tender tone in his voice. Wanting to understand what was going on in CJ's mind at that moment.

CJ sighed. She opened the gates with the questioning, and now she had to step in the mess she made. "Toby. The last time you acted like this was when you were with Andrea." She said, almost in a whisper. She looked around, looking almost as if someone might be listening in. But the truth was she just didn't want to see his reaction.

"What?" He questioned, totally confused by her demeanor after the question came out of her mouth.

"Are you seeing anyone right now?" CJ asked, scared about what his answer might be. Had she waited too long?

"You can say that," Toby mumbled, unsure of what was going through her mind. All he could think of was Mrs. Landingham, and her sudden reappearance in his life. Not like a peaceful dream, but in a form of a ghost hellbent on turning his whole world off its axis.

"Oh, well. That's great Toby. Who's the lucky lady?" She tried to make her voice sound excited for him, happy that he was finally moving on. Inside, she was hurting all over again. Just like the day he told her he was getting married.

Toby stopped and realized what he just said. Her voice was betraying her at that critical moment. He caught onto the fact that she seemed saddened by the idea of him seeing someone. Dating someone. Someone that wasn't her. Or, his ears were playing tricks on him again. He looked at her for clarification. Hoping her features would give away something.

"Oh, nobody. It's just..." Toby stumbled over his words as CJ's eyes met his. He needed to tell her the truth. Even if she would think of him as being insane, or someone she would not touch with a ten-foot pole. He frowned at the idea of them never being together.

"You just said you were," CJ cursed herself for pushing onward with this line of questioning. She didn't want details. She didn't want a name. She didn't want to deal with this again. She swore to herself that after his divorce, she would go to him about her feelings for him once he healed from the blow of a failed marriage. She never did. And she cursed herself again at that moment.

"No, I thought you meant if I am literally seeing anyone right now. And I said yes, because I see you now, and I see the hotdog guy right now," Toby rattled off the words, listening to them as if his own voice was foreign to him. He sounded like an idiot. He sounded like he was guilty of something, and he wasn't quite sure of what. He hated the look in her eyes. He hated the fact that she was able to hide her true feelings from him with that droop expression she mustered up expertly throughout the years.

"Toby?" She watched his face change expressions at least a dozen times in the last minute. He was holding something back from her. Something he didn't want her to know. She couldn't help but be curious. Maybe he was getting back together with Andrea. Maybe they had worked things out without her knowledge. She wanted him happy. And as much as she wanted to be the one giving him that happiness, she would learn to live if he received it elsewhere. Just as long as he was happy. He deserved it, she thought. Maybe more then she deserved it.

"Yeah?" He was still puzzled by the look in her eye as they concentrated on each other during this moment. Part of him thought he saw a twinge of jealousy. Part of him thought he saw it as hate, or possibly just annoyance. He knew she didn't believe him. Didn't believe a word coming out of his mouth. He thought that might be a good thing, in this case. He could never lie to her. At least not well.

"Why are you lying to me?" CJ asked, almost abruptly. She was fighting off the dozen thoughts, feelings from her mind. She wanted to be in the moment, listen to him, be happy for him. She didn't want to feel deflated or ignored. Or lied to. He was a terrible liar when it came to her. She could always see beyond his words. And she never resisted an opportunity to call him on it. She sure as hell would call him on it tonight, at that moment. Because part of her didn't believe that he was seeing someone romantically. Especially Andrea. But he was hiding something.

"I'm not," Toby said slowly. Not wanting to risk his voice breaking off as she continued capturing his gaze. He couldn't look away. He didn't want to. He loved this woman. And the idea scared him to death. That, and the Mrs. Landingham issue were weighing on him like a ton of bricks.

"Yes you are," CJ nodded and decided to follow her heart. For once in her life. She put her arm around Toby and looked into his eyes. She refused to let him look away. Afraid that might break the spell she was trying to put him under. She wanted him to confide in her. She wanted him to trust her. She wanted him. Plain and simple."Tell me please. Trust me." She almost begged. Pleading with her eyes as he watched her.

"I can't tell you this," Toby spat out and then jumped up from the bench and looked down at CJ. "God knows I want to, but I can't." He said softly as he jammed his hands in his pockets, rocked back on his heel, and looked down into her eyes. God, she was captivating.

"You don't trust me?" The words sounded more like an accusation than a question. The words coming out of his mouth were not fitting with the look in his eyes. The way he looked at her. The way his body seemed to vibrate from his stance, feeling the vibration from him from her head to toe. She was trying not to act hurt, or possibly betrayed. Something was going on with him.

"I do trust you. CJ, you are my best friend and I tell you everything..." His voice trailed off as he said the rest in his head. 'Hey CJ! Guess what? I have a new gift. I can talk to dead people. Yep, I see them, fight with them, and take bad advice from them. Would you marry me now?' He groaned at how pathetic he was sounding in his head.

"Some things," CJ interrupted his train of thought with words that pierced his heart. She sat there, looking up at him for a change, and he could see her slipping away from him. Trust was slipping. Friendship, possible love being tarnished before it can even begin. He cursed himself. He wanted to jump into the Potomac and drown. He wanted to stop hurting her.

"You would think I'm nuts." He spoke the truth. The ideas from his head spilling out into words. She would think he's nuts. Seeing dead people. Arguing with death people. Listening to dead people. She would laugh in his face like it was a joke, or run screaming into the hills to get away from him. He didn't really care with either option, but he would choose the former if he had to.

"Toby, you are nuts. That's what I like about you," CJ tried to move back into their earlier bantering. Jokes and poking fun at each other. She tried to smile, but it was sheepish. She tried to laugh, but she choked. Damn this man and what he did to her. To her heart. "Sit next to me and tell me." She patted the spot Toby sat at earlier, pleading him to listen to her through her eyes.

"CJ, I can't." Toby said in almost a whisper. He held back the urge to reach out and brush her cheek with his fingers. To brush her unruly hair behind her ears for her. He wanted to lean down and kiss her. Tell her his feelings. Promise a future he knew he would make possible for her, if she would just say yes, and be with him. He did not ever break eye contact with her.

CJ got up from the bench, eyes locked, and came closer to Toby. Close to the point where she could feel his breath against her cheek. She grabbed Toby's hands with her own and held them against her chest. She continued looking into his eyes. Trying to push him over that edge he was on that was refusing him to confide his thoughts, his problems. Their faces were so close now, she could almost feel his lips on hers. Oh, how she wanted to kiss him and make his pain stop. Make her pain stop.

"CJ," Toby whispered. Saying her name in the way he did almost sounded like a warning. She was close. Maybe too close. His fingers tangled with hers, while they rested on her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, and the quickening heights it was escalating to. He could almost taste her lips. He held his ground, refusing to break the spell she had him under with her eyes.

"Tell me. Let me help you with what I can," She whispered back. Her voice trembling because of his nearness. Chest touching chest. Thighs touching thighs. She wanted in. She wanted him to allow her inside his life, that private life he kept hidden from the world.

"Not here," He couldn't do this here. Not because he was afraid she would run. But the Communications Director part of him remembered the Press, and how this would hurt the President's reelection campaign if the papers had him and the Press Secretary looking like they were about to pounce on each other in the middle of the park. Plus, if he was going to tell her about his visions from beyond the grave, he rather it be inside someplace where he can explain his insanity. If she would listen. Hell, he didn't even know how to explain it if he had to.

"Fine, then where?" She asked, quickly. She was tired of waiting. She was tired of hiding. This was something they had to talk about as soon as they could. Before he would change his mind, and leave her alone.

"Your place," He suggested without really thinking of how it sounded outloud. He sounded as if he was planning on taking advantage of her. He sounded like he wanted to have his way with her, with or without her permission. He did, but he would never force her. Ever.

"Fine." She agreed. She knew the way it sounded, but didn't care. She was too caught up in his eyes, and his scent to back off now. Even if he told her he was marrying some beauty queen tonight, she would tell him how she felt. She had to. She'd been holding it inside her heart for too long. She couldn't deal with the ache anymore. Even if he dismissed her. At least she could say she told him.

TBC


	5. Helping Toby 5

Part 5

They were quiet the entire drive back to her place. CJ unlocked the door and let Toby in first. He had been in there before, so he knew where to put his jacket. But before he even got the chance to put it down, CJ cornered him, bringing her body close to his again as they were at the park. Her eyes fixated on his. Trying desperately to reach inside his soul and fix anything that needed to be fixed. With or without his permission. The tension was as thick as mud, and she needed to cool it off for a moment.

"Okay big boy, tell me," CJ said with a tilt of her head. She had called him that once before, and he had glared at her for about an hour before giving her a lecture on proper nickname etiquette. She swore it was the longest hour of her life, but she enjoyed it more then she should have. She could listen to him read the damn phone book for weeks on end without getting bored or losing interest. She loved his voice. And loved using nicknames she knew he hated, because she could.

"Don't call me that," Toby threatened. It wasn't a threat to cause her fear, or confusion. He worried about it as soon as he said it, but eased when the left side of her mouth curled up slightly. He hated that nickname. Of course, he didn't like any sort of nickname. But he would let her call him whatever she wanted, and never get mad.

"Well?" CJ broke the coolness that had formed briefly between them during the past few seconds. She couldn't wait any longer. She felt like she was ready to bust out at the seams.

"CJ, can I ask you a question?" Toby needed to do this slow. He needed to be sure of himself before he divulged any information to her. He needed to be absolute that she wouldn't run from him. He didn't think he could handle the rejection from her tonight. Or ever again.

"Fine," CJ answered, irritated that Toby was stalling. He learned at an early age how to stall, and how to stall well. She couldn't refuse the look he was giving her when he asked her the question. He looked almost lost, ashamed maybe. What the hell was going on?

"Do you think about Mrs. Landingham at all?" Toby asked, sitting down on the couch slowly. He kept his eyes glued to hers as he sat, tilting his head to indicate she should sit next to him. He needed to sit when he asked this. He needed to be seated when he broke the news to the woman he loves that he's going crazy and having conversations with the President's dead secretary.

"Of coarse, why do you bring her up Toby?" CJ did as he indicated, and sat next to him. Her gaze shifting slightly as she got to a spot where she could see his face, yet sit comfortably. She was confused beyond anything right now. Why was he bringing up Mrs. Landingham? And why did it look like he was about to start crying at the drop of a hat. She tightened her grip on his hand, afraid to let go.

"She was always the one who looked at the positive side of things. She saw the good in everyone, including me. Sure, she called me a pain in the butt, refused me cookies, but she cared for me. She cared." Toby's voice cracked near the end. She had cared about him. She was like a mother figure in a lot of ways. His mother had died when he was just into his teenage years. He strained for any sort of good memory of her. She had thought of him as a pain in the ass too, he remembered.

CJ looked over at Toby and saw a tear fall down his face, then saw a shadow of a smile on his lips. He was thinking of something. Remembering something good, something worth smiling about. His smile faded quickly as he bounced back into the present. Another tear escaping him. She brushed the tears away with her finger. Toby lightly grabbed her hand and kept it on his face. He savored her touch. The softness of her skin. He could feel the vibration of her heartbeat through her skin. He shut his eyes for a moment, breaking the eye contact that had been so strong and present. He acted as if he was taking a mental picture of this moment, putting it away someplace safe, as if this was the last moment they would ever have together. Ever.

"I care Toby, I always have," She choked out. The sight of him with tears streaming down his face uncontrollably struck her deep inside. She had never, ever seen him cry. And she didn't really see him crying now. The tears that came down his cheeks were beyond his control. He was strong, and stubborn. She knew he would fight back the urge to cry until she was gone. But he was trusting her now in ways she only imagined. Her heart sank at the idea of him being this sad, alone. But it made her almost jump for joy at the idea of him sharing his ache with her.

"You know when I said I was seeing someone earlier?" he asked in a whisper. He remembered her face when he mentioned it before. He thought he saw a glimmer of jealousy in her eyes. But he kept telling himself he was imaging things. She cared for him. That he knew. But love? Could she possible love him like he loved her? This conversation they were about to have was going to test the boundaries of the friendship they started almost twenty years ago. What he was about to share would test everything they ever went through together. He just hoped she was still sitting next to him once he finished the story.

"Yeah. You said you saw me and the hotdog guy," She repeated the lame cover-up story he told her at the park. That lie, she could call him on. As much as she wanted to be completely in the moment with him right now, she couldn't help but think he could have offered a better excuse then that. He was a writer, after-all. But she pushed that thought aside and gave him her full attention. She wanted him to see that she cared. That there was nothing he couldn't share with her. She would never judge him the way everyone else in his life had. She wanted to show him that she was willing to fight fire with him, hold his hand on nights like these when all he wanted to do was sit and cry over something. Anything. She didn't care. She would be there.

Toby started smiling. Her repeating back that lame lie to him just proved again how stupid it was. How senseless. He should have been able to come up with something better. He wrote for the President of the United States. Why did he come up with something right out of a mouth of a 5-  
year-old? She knew it was a lie. But he had to say it outloud, just as a punishment of sorts. "I lied." He spoke clear. His eyes had opened when she answered him the last time, and he was back staring into her eyes again. Willing to get lost within her. Even if for a few moments.

"I figured that, you don't lie very well," She conceded what she knew he already knew. He had told her years ago that he couldn't lie to her. And he joked that he hated her for it. He didn't. It was one of the things he endeared most about her. She went back to his question about Mrs. Landingham. The sweet old woman in charge of the President, much to his dismay at times. She lost her life in a senseless act. A drunk driver refusing to stop when required, slamming into Mrs. Landingham and the new car she had bought just that day. Life was cruel sometimes. Just plain wrong. "Why are you thinking about Mrs. Landingham?" She asked, still trying to connect the dots of Toby's sudden sadness and Mrs. Landingham. She knew he was saddened about her death, but it had been weeks. Had something about the way she died struck a cord in Toby?

"You will call the mental ward on me." Toby had to start this out on the right note. Maybe if he lightened the mood, told her in a way that made her laugh, maybe she wouldn't consider him insane. He took a deep breath and gave her a reassuring smile as the tears finally stopped rolling down his cheeks. He had never cried in front of her. In front of anyone really.

"Please," CJ said moving closer to him on the couch. Her leg brushed against his. Her fingers had tangled with his sometime during this conversation while sitting on the couch. She didn't remember when, but she smiled at the thought of how natural it was for them. She untangled her right hand from his, placing it instead on his knee to offer comfort. Without thinking, her hands began moving in lazy circles that went from his knee to the middle of his thigh. At any other time. With any other person. This gesture would have been considered sexual. But this was different. Comfort. And she knew he felt it too. He nodded his appreciation for the gesture. Winking at her as if they had some forbidden secret and her hand moving in circles on his leg was the symbol that it was okay to discuss, or just permission to consider the secret in silence. Her stomach jerked. Okay, maybe her touching him like this was a little on the sexual side. But she pushed that away from the scene at hand.

"I see her sometimes," He began. Speaking as if they were surrounded by people and he didn't want anyone but her to hear him. His head even moved closer to hers, indicating to her this was something he was intrusting to her. His words right now would never travel out of his room. Ever.

The idea that the whole problem that Toby seemed to be having because of the death of Mrs. Landingham seemed unlikely. But he kept coming back to her, like a dog to a bone. She watched him gather himself together before talking. As if the words were going to cast a spell on him if he said them the wrong way.

"Toby. She was a part of all of us, I think I see her too sometimes" CJ began to explain, but noticed Toby needed to say more. This was his session. She would have her session after his. The session she'd secretly been dreaming of, and mentally been dreading. She quickly wondered what his reaction will be when she tells him that she loves him. She shook herself within, snapping her back to the present.

"No CJ, I do see her. She talks to me," God, it sounds worse outloud. He kept a good eye on CJ's reaction. Gripping her hand tighter without knowledge of his actions. She didn't blink. She didn't even show any sort of reaction. Her eyes continued to captivate his attention.

Toby went over the words he just said again, and got up from the couch quickly and ran to the door. He couldn't do this. He can't risk losing her. He thought he was good as gone until he felt CJ grab him from behind. Her hand gripping tight on his shoulder. Willing him with her eyes to turn around and face her. To help her understand what he was talking about. How could he explain it when he didn't understand it himself? He finally turned around to face her. The feeling of loss in his stomach when he let her go and broke the eye contact that had been instrumental during this entire night. One second. Two seconds. It was too long without looking at her. Without touching her. He stood still as a board as she brought up her hand and rubbed his cheek with the softest touch he has ever felt in his life. Almost feather-like. He thought for a moment he had only imagined it. Until her other hand came up and she cupped his face. Making him look at her. Not allowing him to move, or look away.

"It's okay," She reassured. She could tell this was what was keeping him distant tonight. He was afraid to tell her he saw a dead woman. Hell, she was a woman who could have sworn she saw Elvis when she was 21-years-old and celebrating her birthday in Las Vegas with too many friends, and way too much alcohol. Of course, it turned out to be a 58-year-old female trying to impersonate the king of rock and roll. But this was real. She believed he saw her. Believed she would come to him during this time of confusion in his life. During the confusion of this whole ordeal. She had been the Presidents' shadow. And she would come to Toby with guidance, ideas, and comments because she trusted him. And knew the staff would hang onto him as an anchor until they passed this mess. When everything was back to normal. Or as close to normal without Mrs. Landingham. She was curious what the woman had to say.

"What does she say?" She asked, with a pitch in her voice that made the question sound almost like it was coming from a kid who didn't know if they were excited or something else. She knew he was afraid to tell her this. Afraid at what she would think of him. She felt back the urge to cry. He cared about what she thought of him. He didn't want to run her off.

Her question came out of left field. He thought he had her reaction pinned down. He thought she would either run like crazy away from him, without looking back. He thought she might think he was a little on the looney side, and beg him to get some help. But for her to ask him that. Ask him what she says. She looked intrigued. She didn't look sorry for him. She didn't look scared for him, of him. She was listening and understood everything he was saying. He smiled shyly as he answered. Damn everything he was afraid of when it came to her now. The look in her eye told him she wouldn't run off. She wouldn't reject him. Not now. Maybe not ever.

"That I need to have a life outside my job. That I love you and I need to make a move." He said slowly, refusing to allow her to miss even one syllable. He had to let her know how he felt. He just had to. He was done hiding that part of himself. He needed her in his life, as a friend and lover. He smiled at the idea of the latter.

"What was that last part?" She had been stunned as if she had been struck with a baseball bat for no apparent reason. The shock stilled any movement. Did she just hear him utter the words she had been saving to tell him after this? Did he really just say...

"That I love you and I need to make a move," He whispered again while looking deeper into her eyes, if it was at all possible. The line that had been drawn between the two of them had finally been stepped over. He waited for a response from her. Refusal. Acceptance. Want. Need. Love. His head moved closer to hers, bringing lips closer together.

"Well then?" She spoke almost softer than a whisper, she thought. He probably didn't hear her.

"Well what?" He smiled a smile she had never seen before. A smile that told her so much. His love for her. His want for her, total want from her. Love. Friendship. Sex. Trust. Everything. She no longer felt the shock generate through her. She was his. He was hers. And by God, she didn't even have to say it first.

"I think you should make your move," She spoke louder, her voice teasing as she watched his face grow nearer.

Toby continued smiling and finally broke the gap that had been teasing him all night. He kissed CJ gently on the mouth. A first kiss. Gentle. Letting her know that he loved her. Letting her know that she was his. And he was hers. His body shivered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and made him kiss her with all the passion he had held inside him. When they finally parted for much needed oxygen, all she could do was stare at his soft, glistening lips. That damn bottom lip he had teased her with since the day she met him.

"Toby?" She found her voice, strained because of the vibrations in her body. The feeling of his hands on her hips, tugging her closer to him.

"Yeah?" He replied in only a whisper. Unable to find any voice at all.

"I love you too." She confessed, and felt something drop from her that she had been holding onto for too many years. She felt twenty again. She felt reckless, wanted. She finally had him in her arms. And not a moment too soon, she believed.

Toby's face broke out into a boyish grin that she thought impossible for him to have. He looked happy, relieved, and in love. She knew how he felt. Because she felt the same way.

"You're beautiful," He confessed to her as she led them into the bedroom."Are you sure you want to do this?" Toby had to ask. He wanted her tonight. Right now. Hell, on the livingroom floor. But he would wait for her if he had to. He had waited this long.

"Toby, I have been wanting to do this for sixteen years," She smirked as her answer caused both of them to nearly drop to the floor right then. She blushed at her eagerness, loving the fact that he was feeling the same way.

He smiled and kissed her again. This was the woman that he had loved for a long time. He had no idea before tonight that she felt the same way. Now there they were, making love for the first time in her bed. Enjoying every minute of it. Knowing one day, they would be making love in his bed. He smiled at the idea that this would happen again. And again. And again. With all the bad things that have happened in the last few weeks out of their minds for once, they looked at each other and saw the love, and friendship they shared for so many years grow minute by minute with each kiss and touch. They were home. Home was with each other.

'BEEP,BEEP'

CJ jumped up at the sound of her alarm clock. She shut it off and looked around her room. She laughed at the sight of her clothes tossed in all different directions. She looked over and saw that Toby was still asleep. He looked so peaceful. She had always loved him, but she was never able to tell him. Smart and sexy men turned her on, and from the very first day she met him, he intrigued her more then any man she had ever met. The only problem was that he was always with someone. But now, he was with her. She bent her head down and kissed Toby on the cheek. Toby opened his eyes and saw CJ hovering over him. He couldn't help but smile up at her.

"Morning," He said softly, afraid if he spoke too loud he would wake up from a dream and he wouldn't have the sight of her next to him anymore.

"Morning," She said back. Just as quiet. Feeling the same way he did about waking up, unable to handle the idea of this only being a dream. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I could get used to seeing those dimples of yours every morning." She winked. Smiling as a blush caressed into his cheeks. She kissed him before he could come up with a good retort, not wanting to miss another second with him. She had waited too damn long. She would kiss him for the next ten years on the spur of the moment. She was happy. He was happy.

Then she rested her head down on his bare chest. He put his arms around her, held her closer to him, and kissed the top of her head.

"You think she's happy?" CJ asked Toby. Wanting him to know she didn't think any less of him because of what he shared with her last night. Her heart skipped a beat with the smile he gave her.

"Who?" He asked, even though he knew who CJ was asking about. He saw in her eyes the trust she had in him. And she loved him. Even though he had talked, argued, and yelled at a dead person.

"Mrs. Landingham." She smiled at the nervous, yet caring look on his face as he actually took the time to think about it.

"I think that she is on cloud nine right now with a huge smile on her face," He answered with a hint of sincerity and proudness in his voice.

"That's what I think too." She whispered.

She moved on top of him and stroked his face slowly. Refusing to miss an inch. She kissed him lightly on the mouth. Then she smiled her cat-ate-the-canary smile that made him thank God he was laying down, or his knees would have gone out on him.

"I love you Claudia Jean."

"I love you too Toby Ziegler."

He kissed her again on the lips. Both letting out the deep breaths they had been both holding in for too damn long.

"I should get home to change," Toby mentioned between kisses. His body didn't move an inch, just welcoming CJ to change his mind.

"I know," CJ couldn't stop herself from kissing him harder. She didn't want him to leave. But work was waiting, and they had important things to do besides each other. She grinned, and blushed as she remembered the night before in vivid detail

"Yeah," Toby said kissing her back, ignoring the need to shower and dress.

"Yeah." CJ kept kissing him. Hell, she had a shower. He wouldn't look good in her clothes, but I'm sure they can manage something. Even Josh and Sam wore the same clothes two days in a row.

"Oh, the hell with it." Toby kissed CJ harder this time and made her roll over. Both of them started laughing. This was becoming too easy for them.

"You're sexy when you're demanding." CJ teased as she ran her hand up and down his chest.

"I try." Toby joked, and gave her the best evil grin he could muster up. CJ started to laugh again but was soon hushed by Toby's lips landing on her own. She knew then that they were going to be a little late to work.

The End


End file.
